In a coffee shop in western Pennsylvania the morning after Barack Obama’s muted acceptance speech in the arena, I overheard a conversation that made me wonder ‘why bother.’ “Forget about it. It’s all over,” said one excited man, the ringleader of five donut-dunking middle aged white men. He went on to advise his compatriots, “Anything you own in your own name, get it out of your name before they take it away.” The others mumbled agreement, and added their own advice about changing obscuring Social Security numbers and hiding guns. You’d think the Bolsheviks were amassing outside of Pittsburgh from the way they talked.

The conversation grew more bizarro as the topic turned to military adventurism and terrorism. “Well, we won’t see any more terror attacks, because the terrorists love him,” said a man, who presumably will look back nostalgically on the days of airplanes-as-missiles after Obama makes peace with Osama. Finally, the ringleader concluded his rant on a note of resignation. “I don’t see what you can do, though, because people are so fed up and want change. People in this country are so stupid,” said the man who unwittingly underscored his own point.

Hearing this conversation, I wonder why the Democrats even bother pandering to polling numbers and so-called “undecideds.” Wear a flag pin or don’t, hold a mass spectacle in an arena or a cozy town hall, nominate a war hero or a Weatherman terrorist – whatever you do, you’re a bunch of godless communist atheists to these yokels and millions more like them. You can’t win them over, you have to outvote them. Whoever has the better ground operation wins, period.

So, John McCain has picked an inexperienced, arch-conservative lady politician in an attempt to win over Hillary Clinton’s supporters. It’s a move that reeks of desperation and deflates one of his biggest selling points (Experience!) and, again, why bother? Who will be truly won over by this? If Kathleen Sebilius was an unnacceptable VP on the Democratic ticket because she’s “not Hillary,” how is Phyllis Schafely Jr. any more acceptable? Any Clinton supporter still refusing to support Obama is using “the woman thing” as a cover for racism. They were never going to vote for Obama, so picking this silly woman from Alaska to court these voters is a wasted gesture that wounds McCain’s campaign message. That said, the poor Old Man really had no good options. Who else did he have? The billionaire Hairdo, whom he had recently ridiculed in the primaries? The “independent” who was not-too-long-ago mocked as “Sore Loserman” by the Republican base?

Meanwhile, don’t mistake this post for enthusiasm for the Democratic ticket, comrades. While the lesser of two evils argument is more compelling this year than any other, after I am done working my union’s political program, I will quietly cast a vote for Ralph Nader. See, there really is no winning over people. You just have to outvote them.